It’s not very often I meet someone who is so acutely and unabashedly self-aware. When I sat down with Rita yesterday I had already read her blogs along with the bio I asked her to send me – both of which provided great insight into what may be keeping her single. While sitting at Starbucks waiting to meet Rita, I wondered how open she would be to some of the suggestions I was about to make. Most of the time when I meet with a new client they are, understandably, a little guarded and even a tad resistant to really face some of their self-defeating habits. To make matters worse, I had the difficult task of cramming what typically takes 3-4 sessions into one self-improving hour. Since Rita was going full steam ahead with her 35 dates, we had little time to waste. How would she react to so much information all at once? After all I was serving her a strong cocktail of hard medicine. To my surprise she took it like a champ – swallowing my advice in one gulp, and not even asking for a chaser.
Rita was ready to tackle whatever behavior was holding her back. She was tired of repeating the same pattern over and over with men. She knew that she was part of the problem and was ready, willing, and hoping to be able to fix it.
I admire Rita’s courage. It’s not often I meet with someone so open to change. Of course you would think anyone that contacts a dating coach would be ready to make some adjustments, but nine out of ten times, people only think they are ready to change, or the change I’m suggesting is just not one they were prepared to make. Not Rita. She is not going to let herself get in her own way any longer.
We do have some work ahead of us. Rita has a developed a strong, deep-rooted pattern that slowly but surely sabotages her relationships. She knows it, and now my job is to help her stop it. Much like a fitness trainer that not only shows you how to properly exercise, my role now is to make sure that everyday Rita mentally “works-out.” Which most people find to be the most arduous part of date coaching. When you are with a coach and you are in the midst of a session it is so easy to feel motivated to do things differently. It’s when I’m not sitting right in front of you; when you are alone with your thoughts at the end of a long day; or when you come face to cute face with a handsome man who is all wrong for you, that the real work begins. I have no doubt that it will be tough for Rita. I told her that at times what I suggest will feel unnatural. But if she keeps her end goal in mind and trusts that I can help her get to where she wants to be, a healthy, happy relationship will be waiting for her on the other side.
For anyone interested in coaching, I will provide a discount for Rita’s Single in the Suburbs members, as well as her blog followers. You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and use the promotional code: Friend of Rita. For more information on coaching services, please visit www.jessmccann.com.